| Finally, a book review |
[Mar. 22nd, 2006|01:04 pm] |
Okay, finally, sat down and tried to do this. Funny how the book reviews are the biggest stumbling block for me. I think I just have a hard time finding the quiet space to do the reading, and then do the writing in a timely fashion so that I still remember what I read. One more book review to go, and a little tweaking of the rest. *whew*
( Complete Idiot’s Guide to Paganism by Carl McColman )
This book is sort of like shopping for new clothes. You’re out there, and you already know yourself fairly well, but you know your old look just doesn’t work for you anymore. This book gives you some new outfits and accessories to try on and take for a spin, knowing you can return them for store credit later if they really don’t work for you, or hang on to them if you think they might better work in another season of your life. Or maybe you get done with reading the book and decide that your old wardrobe really did fit you better after all.
Geez, I sure wish I would have just read this book FIRST before even starting the DP since it really covers the basics... |
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| Dedicant Oath Ritual |
[Dec. 28th, 2005|04:18 pm] |
Introduction Summary:
I have been a member of ADF essentially since 1997, and participating on most of the discussion lists. I’ve practiced as a solitary druid for many years, and as a member of Rogue River Grove for the last four years. I’ve also participated in rituals with other groves when in their towns. I’ve done research into the Norse pantheon most extensively, as a great extent of my ancestry is Germanic, and found I feel most at home there. I’ve also explored some Native American myths and traditions, as well as some Celtic as they are also part of my heritage, and I find that to be close to my heart as well.
Over the course of my studies and research, divination and meditation, and just openly listening, I find I have been called by two Patrons at this time in my path, Frigga of the Norse Pantheon, as she represents my home and hearth, and my finding of great peace in making that the center of my spiritual and common life. I call on her for strength, peace of mind, and decisiveness. I feel her in the crafts I work with my hands and fiber, spinning. Brighid is also of my hearth, but she represents also my calling to the path of the midwife and healer, and my inner poet. The weaving of words. She stands at the gateways of transformation, a forge by living fire. Both represent a warrior side of me that is often neglected or feared, and my personal challenge of conflict avoidance, and finding courage to fight some battles worth fighting.
I decided to perform my Oath Rite October 16, 2005, at the beach, a sacred place for me. A place I’ve gone when facing big life decisions and crossroads. I decided to do this oath rite in solitude, as it felt intimately personal, between me and my gods.
( Oath Rite Text/Script )
Reflections….
Okay, so I did it. The Dedicant Oath Rite. Yesterday, at the beach, on the jetty.
To really make the weekend, I spent a good bit of the time with my mom and my sister going to antique shops. Found a little table for my bathroom, and some candle holders. The rest of the time we spent drinking mead and working on genealogy stuff. Trying to decipher the old German script in the German Bible. Good times. By the time I got down to the beach to do my ritual, I was uber connected to the ancestors. I even had all their names.
So, I headed out there, found a nice little spot where I could see the water, far enough off the regular beach-beach so people wouldn't be likely to walk through the middle, and set myself up.
Since I don't get out much, I forget that candles don't burn well outside, particularly on the beach in the wind. And the drizzle. I had four candles, I managed to keep my New Orleans Go Away Evil candle lit for most of the time. And I used my beeswax candle to reach down into that jar to grab some flame to burn my sacrifices and offerings with. I also ran out of matches trying to keep candles lit. So, midway through I had to stop and go digging through my purse to try to find some more.
Then I get nearly to the end, and these two redneck fishermen guys come walking up. Fortunately, they were so obnoxious and loud I could hear them coming a mile away. So, I'm trying to look like I'm doing yoga or meditating or something, because even my Patrons know I'm not ready for *that* kind of conflict. So, I take a moment and meditate and wait and hope they'll go away. And even though the entire fucking jetty is completely deserted, they decide to set themselves down about 20 feet away from me and start fishing.
I was starting to feel really EXTRA PISSY about this. I was very obviously in a PERSONAL SPACE type moment sitting there. First I can't maintain the fire, and now ... WHY couldn't they move on down a bit? Choose another spot?
Then Patrick Claflin's face loomed before me (which is startling on the jetty) and reminded me that what happens in the circle, is what is supposed to happen, and it's usually best to just laugh your way through and get on with it and not let any mishaps fuck up the energy that's been built. So, I asked an extra blessing for them so they could catch some salmon. Finished the rest of my ritual muttering under my breath, and left a small piece of my handspun yarn tied to a piece of dune grass.
Thinking about it now, I realize I could have dug myself a nice windbreak hole for my candles, or even built a small fire. But I didn't intend to stay long after, so I didn't want to get a real fire going.
So, I had unexpected guests, my fire wouldn't stay lit, my waters of life had sand in them. But I made all of my offerings, managed to laugh it all off in the end and felt really good about it overall. It was going very well and smooth (aside from the fire bit) until the idiot brothers arrived on the scene, and once I brought myself back to center and moved on without them, it all came together. |
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| Rewrite of the book review for Myth of Matriarchal Prehistory |
[Oct. 6th, 2005|05:43 pm] |
Indo-European Studies Book Review
The Myth of Matriarchal Prehistory: Why an Invented Past Won’t Give Women a Future. By Cynthia Eller
When I selected this book, I thought it was going to just cover all the evidence to debunk all the Matriarchal Prehistory “evidence.” It did do that, citing archeological evidence, that mainly just proves we don’t know much at all. But it went beyond that, to explore the real function of the myth itself, as an inspiration for strength that all women could draw on. She examines what it means in the context of modern feminist society, as a sort of archetypal feminine strength women could draw on to find value within themselves, and to use as a template to build on and recreate a more feminist modern society. Having a life of its own, the myth of prehistorical matriarchy gained power.
I had taken a few goddess culture and feminism classes in college myself. At the time, it seemed like a pretty good proposition. All the evidence presented seemed to support the idea. The author raises several points however, that I had not considered then. For instance, how the very act of defining femininity as good and positive, leads to ascribing negative and harmful attributes to the masculine nature: Defining the feminine by comparing it to its nemesis.
She also brings up the point of gender differences, and whether they are genetic or learned socially. If these qualities that are being ascribed to the feminine are merely learned through societal influence and the accepted gender roles we see all around us, it’s hard to believe it’s a hard wired thing. On top of that, the definitions of roles of gender in this myth are also very specific to particular cultures, and just don’t apply globally or universally.
What I find really fascinating, is how myth becomes accepted as history. Any evidence that comes up that supports the theory is glorified and amplified. Any evidence to the contrary is disputed, explained away as a fluke or a conspiracy, obviously tainted by the dominating patriarchal culture.
In the concluding chapter, Eller says “The most alluring feature of matriarchal myth is the precedent it offers.” Having the precedent seems to suggest that if we had it before, then we can have it again. But Eller goes on to suggest that we don’t really need the precedent in order to envision a better, more balanced world. That we can have what we envision, or work for it with every fiber of our being, without having ever had it before. In fact, having the precedent runs the danger that we’ll spend more time and energy trying to defend the theory that we once had it, than on making it a reality in our future.
Reading this book made me think about some other angles to this that I hadn’t considered before. I always enjoy seeing things from several sides. Her conclusions about not needing the prehistorical precedent of a matriarchal prehistory in order to have a better future, I find far more inspiring and hopeful, than the assumption that we do need it.
I did enjoy this book and would recommend it. |
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| Druid in the Ecosystem Essay Draft |
[Aug. 28th, 2005|11:27 am] |
Here's the draft for this essay that I just slammed together this morning.
I'm still working on the other two book reviews, and the oath rite... but it may be a while before I have some quiet free time again so who knows...
( Ecosystem Essay ) |
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| More Thoughts - Thanks for the Feedback |
[Aug. 19th, 2005|06:58 am] |
I am trying not to get frustrated and give up. I've been a member of ADF since 1997, and I've been "working" on the Dedicant Program for almost that long. Off and on. Fits and Starts..
Somewhere in 2003 or 2004 or so, I decided to just do it. Then about two or three months ago, I decided to REALLY do it. And in the last couple of weeks, I've put together some thoughts on about half of it. The longer it takes, the more I just want to get it DONE -- not in a form that can be published as a book, or be profoundly insightful or inspiring to others. I'm not even really striving for my own personal best in work here. Just done. I'm finding that "mental discipline" is less a skill of meditation, and more an ability to remain my flow of thought in the midst of a thousand interruptions by work, kids, husband, guy at the door looking for money for our schools, guy across the street with his stupid &%$ truck that takes a half hour noise to get started, then another half hour of running noisily and with extra stink before he just turns the @$%& thing off again and goes back into his drug dealer house... *wheeze* leaving my house full of toxic fumes if I don't manage to run all around and shut all the windows in time...
So, I'm trying, scratching and clawing at just getting it DONE, then I'll go back and make additions, revisions, whatnot, before I send it in.
My BIG dream is to start midwifery school. But there's the nagging in my head that says, "you'd never make it in midwifery school. Look at the DP! It's not so big, and you can't even finish THAT"
So, in spite of all my whining, I DO appreciate the feedback and suggestions, and I'll consider them more later.. I just feel like I need a rough draft of the whole thing first, so I have some thing to work with. A blob of druid stuff finally pulled out of my brain so I can see it and work with it.
Hmm. Maybe that blob of druid stuff in my head is what causes my migraines? I wonder if you can see it on an MRI.... |
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| Three Kindred - Nature Spirits |
[Aug. 18th, 2005|06:29 pm] |
Nature Spirits
The Nature Spirits, as I understand them, are “entities” or beings of some sort that dance between dimensions and worlds, somewhere between light and substance, flitting in and out of our perception between this world and others. They are living beings not totally present in this limited physical world perceived by our five physical senses.
They reside near magical places of change. Springs of water, rising up from hidden worlds, caves deep in the earth, edges of ancient forests, in thick mists and fog, and times of changing light, at dusk and just before dawn. Places and times when we all squint and look a little harder, using the peripherals of our vision, using the parts of our eyes usually blinded by the brightness of sunlight. And forced to rely on other less used and dulled senses.
They are the protectors and guardians of these places. They hold the powers of change and new perspective, and of new paths. They also hold the wisdom of the ancient and wild places. They are of the earth, yet not entirely of this mundane, physical realm. And they are old, ancient and established.
They have cultures of their own, reflective of the land they dwell in. Be they forest, meadow or water spirits, their character, their resonance is different. The reason we call them Nature Spirits in the first place, is that we associate them with the sacred of the natural world. They can guide us and teach us how to re-connect with the land we live on.
Though I live in the heart of the city, the land beneath the city is far more ancient than the city that sits on it. The nature spirits are hard to hear because of the traffic noise, and hard to see because the street lights come glaring before dusk, but they are there. We did not have a garden this year, but in years past, I have had a small offering plate (disguised as a birdfeeder) near our garden. I leave offerings of food and drink in our garden throughout the growing season, and they bless me with a healthy bountiful garden. When I harvest, I leave them a portion of the harvest.
During the fishing season, my husband fishes for salmon. We always make an offering of the meat from the first catch back to the spirits of the river. The river spirits are the ones I relate to most, and commune with most often. The ancient river ever flowing towards the sea, the salmon and sturgeon links to the past and the timeless cycles. |
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| Three Kindred - Ancestors |
[Aug. 18th, 2005|05:22 pm] |
Ancestors, Honored Dead
The ancestors always seem most accessible to me of the three kindred. Perhaps because they are an extension of me. They have been like me, and I will one day be with them. The ancestors goes beyond just the concept of my dead family members and relatives, though I tend to be most easily able to connect with them, perhaps because I knew some of them in life, and because some of them lives on in me. The ancestors represent to me, the accumulation of the wisdom of those who have gone before.
The ancestors represent our own past, our heritage, where we come from. Those who have passed beyond the veil, no longer bound by the physical limits of the body. They have crossed to the place we all must go, and can offer us guidance from experience and hindsight.
When looking to the ancestors, I look within rather than outside of myself. We all carry within ourselves a combination of elements passed down biologically and energetically from those who came before us. The endless line of life from which we come and draw strength and confidence.
For me, my grandfather is my “contact person” with the ancestors. I didn’t consciously pick him to try and contact. When I asked the ancestors for guidance, he’s the one who brings the message. Though I recognize it’s not just him, he embodies all the ancestors, in a familiar form. Though when I sought strength from the ancestors during childbirth, a comforting round German woman with grey hair held me, and sternly told me I had more strength than I had yet felt. |
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| Three Kindred - Gods |
[Aug. 18th, 2005|04:55 pm] |
The Gods
Musing again on the stuff which gods are made of… As the subject has come up, taking the myths and stories literally, to envision the gods as basically *bigger people* is very limiting. *My* belief is that the myths, takes, stories, sagas are there to inspire us to really get a glimpse of what power is available to us, around us and within us, on another plane from this physical world we are *living* in and all so obsessed with. So, I guess I’m more of a subscriber to the universal consciousness theory.
Again, I am thrust back toward my original vision of a wheel of portals. Which actually resembles in my head what I imagine the neuroreceptors look like in our nervous system. Different molecules and substances can fit in the same neuroreceptor, but they don’t all have the same *effect* on that neuroreceptor. Some are more effective than others, and in combination with other activated receptor sites, you can get an enhanced effect, or a negated effect. Similarly, I think our individual *souls* have multiple plugs, if you will. We fit into many different receptors on the wheel. Each receptor has different qualities, produces different effects, and each receptor has certain qualities, described in the sagas as being embodied by a particular deity. Certain people have more of an affinity with a particular site, either because it is more congruent with their own, or resonates more powerfully with their own, or it just fits better with their own.
Different cultures have different names for the portals, and describing them as *people* is a way for us to get a glimpse into their qualities and an idea of how to approach them, since people we are ourselves. What better thing could we know? During particular seasons, the reaction is more easily accessed at particular portals, because they are more harmonious with the intent of the season, of the temperature, of the direction of the life force of the region and the earth itself. We access the portal of the time, of the portal that we resonate most powerfully with, and we line up the connectors and make the connection. Voila. Reaction.
I think there is no more consciousness to it than what we bring to it, and what other living beings bring to it. I do not think the portals are limited to human interaction, but I do think it is fueled by life force. Lending this to a *genetics* argument, of particular godden being a birthright to a particular group or race, it may be that a particular culture is deeply embedded in our being, cellular memory if you will, that makes certain portals more accessible to us. Not to say others can’t access those same portals, or get some reaction from them, but the reaction may not be as powerful as those who are truly *tooled* for them. So, you have pantheons of godden in different cultures. Each a reflection of the society perceiving them. I often question if the saying is As above, so below, or whether it should be the other way round--as below, so above.
On this same line, I can see how people who connect very strongly with a particular god, would assume that they have discovered the TRUTH or the one true god because they feel it so strongly and it resonates so perfectly with them because once you find something that works, why look at anything else? And if someone else isn't getting the same charge out of it as you are, then they must be doing something wrong, right? Which leads me further to wonder, whether we can't condition ourselves through practice to access other portals, by altering our consciousness and vibration (for lack of another less new agey word).
Have you ever been in a group chant where everybody is sort of just finding their resonance in their bodies and their voices but everybody is at a different pitch and octave but when they all blend the whole room just vibrates with life of its own? When you have a group ritual, led effectively, the participants all find their connection and it resonates with the rest of the participants. So even if some people just can’t get connected, they still feel the power of the ritual, resonating from the others who do. |
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| Right then |
[Aug. 18th, 2005|03:20 pm] |
so the deadline schedule didn't work. Primarily because I am self-employed, and my clients imposed their own deadlines, and since I have the self-employed syndrome (don't dare ever say no to an offer of work no matter how overwhelmed you are) that would come first. And then I would collapse.
So, I'm posting what I've got so far. I welcome feedback and comments..
( virtues )
( High Days Essay )
A comment on the year in ritual... it was suggested to me by my DP mentor that any rituals that were not ADF style would need to be elaborated on, specifically comparing them to ADF style rituals. I'm afraid I got a little pissy about that, since the requirements clearly state that only four HAD to be ADF style, and no stipulation about having to explain in more detail if the other four were not ADF. My Yule ritual in particular is sort of a rebellion on my part, but I decided to leave it --- lively as it is.
( the Year in Ritual )
( Home Shrine )
I've got some pictures, but I haven't figured out how to insert them on LJ yet. Have to work on that.
Okay. So, today, I'm working on the Three Kindred Essay, and the first book review. I can't remember the last time I wrote a book report (probably been 25 years) so I went looking for other people's reviews to get an idea of what I should be doing. I first looked at that Dangler fellow's web site, and holy crap. I about crawled in a hole never to come out again! Mine will not be nearly that comprehensive I'm afraid. I just don't have that kind of focus.
Will post as soon as I get more done. |
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| Climbing Back on the DP Wagon |
[Jun. 11th, 2005|01:00 pm] |
I set myself a schedule of deadlines, because apparently, I need these. I've gone back and forth between just giving up, convincing myself that I don't need to complete this, that I have other things to do, wondering if it's worth the headache...
But, it doesn't have to be a headache, and the sooner I get past seeing it as a burden, a job, pure drudgery and see it as an opportunity to see what I know, and what I can learn and discover, the better I'll feel about it.
I've done some work on some of these already, so their accomplishment will be more of a refining and editing, and adding to the pile on their dates...
( deadline schedule )
Now, if I can just stick with this, I can be done with this chapter in my life and get on with the rest! |
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| Druid Journal |
[Feb. 24th, 2005|12:50 pm] |
So, I've been off the DP wagon. Chaos has been pretty well taking over. Meditation went by the wayside, replaced by mere two minute devotionals in the morning as I started my day.
This journal has been a record of my ADF Dedicant Program work, but I think it's just as well served to just be my Druid journal in general. What I'm currently doing, is not really specific to the DP, but certainly specific to me. |
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| fROM THE SOLITARIES LIST |
[Feb. 6th, 2004|02:11 pm] |
This is from the ADF Solitaries list, posted by Jeremy yesterday. i JUST WANTED TO INCLUDE IT IN MY JOURNAL BECAUSE It speaks to just what my heart feels.
I don't know how to pray
I don't know what to say
I don't have much time
So then what?
This light I offer is
a little of my love
a little of my time
a little of myself
This light that shines is my prayer
Which continues even as I depart from this place.
Io non so preghare
Io non so che dire
non ho molto tempo...
Allora?
Questa luce che offro è
Un po' del mio amore
Un po' del mio tempo
Un po' di me stesso
Quest luce che brilla
Vuole essere la mia
Preghera
Che continuo
Mentre lascio
Questo luogo |
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| Imbolc poem |
[Feb. 5th, 2004|03:43 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | Inspired | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Elmo's song | ] |
Fondly on Brighid
i'm fond of Brighid
I don’t know with certainty
that I'm one of hers,
or that she's mine.
Perhaps.
I was once closer to her,
perhaps
in another life,
perhaps
even a part of her.
She’s My comforting creativity
She's an old friend.
She listens, she offers advice.
She supports and strengthens me
in birth
in transitions
Her hands are soft
And strong
She is the creative healer
I carry that too.
She is my muse.
she's a best friend from long ago
exchanging handwritten letters
across the distance
someone who I meet for tea
or coffee
catching up on things,
laughing warmly
someone I'd send a postcard to,
Or go take along as a traveling companion.
She's Someone I always warmly remember, and send her a birthday greeting every year.
She warms my heart,
she feeds the fire of my creativity
she inspires me to try new directions.
It is She who opens me
to smile,
to cry,
to laugh,
and even to sing.
I feel her in me.
Like the quickening
new life
nearly ready to be born |
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| Perseverance |
[Feb. 2nd, 2004|06:08 pm] |
5 February 2004
Still on Perseverance…I keep coming back to childbirth. I had my daughter at home, all natural, in water. It was something I decided to do. I know there are hospitals, I know I could have had an epidural and felt none of it. But for me, this was about life, creation, and my very body being a portal from another world into this one. And it was hard. Very, very hard.
( Birth Story )
So, perseverance for me, is staying the course, doing the hard labor, and appreciating the fruits of that labor all the more for the part I had in it. The other part of perseverance for me, is staying the course even when it seems to be going nowhere. Having faith that I’m still on the path, and not backtracking, not surrendering to doubt and fear. Ever moving forward, and trying not to sabotage myself. |
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| Perseverence - Virtues |
[Feb. 2nd, 2004|06:08 pm] |
Perseverance – Don’t give up at what you do until you feel it is completed and done well. (from the Asatru Quick List www.nycpagan.com/quick.html )
It’s a matter of *stick-to-it-iveness* . Keeping with something, a project, an oath, a goal, even when things get difficult. Perhaps especially when things get difficult. That the easiest path of least resistance is not always the best one. There is value in things that are worked for. |
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